May Adventures

In my last post, I said that I'm always excited for May, even when nothing exciting happens. Well, lots of exciting things have already happened and the month isn't even over yet.

I'm back in Salt Lake after visiting Vernal! Yay. I miss Vernal already. That's where my home is. Almost all of my friends are there.

I went shooting with my brother and my little sisters while I was in town. That was fun! I shot my new .38 special, which I named Sexy. Then Josh had me shoot his 7mm mag. Whoops. I think I should have been even more careful before shooting it. My shoulder was fine but my nose... Well, I'm grateful I didn't get a black eye. I did have a nice little headache for a few days though. Still, after that I was much more willing to shoot any of the other guns because I knew the kick wouldn't be as bad.

And it's such beautiful weather outside! I spent several hours yesterday hanging out with my brother and a bunch of friends outside under a tree. It was awesome! We got to watch the solar eclipse. That was pretty much awesome. I think today I'll spend a bit more time outside just because it was so much fun. Maybe even go for a nice long walk.

But I wish I was in Vernal. I miss that place. I miss growing a garden with my mom. I miss digging around in the dirt and doing yard work. I feel like I'm getting lazy out in college. That's good news for my mom, since it means that when I'm home, I'll work outside for her but I want to be able to do that right now.

I guess that's enough rambling for today. I think May has become my month.

~Rose

May is here!

I don't know what it is about May, but I love it. Last year, I kept saying that something good was going to happen in May. It was mostly because I was really excited to eat some delicious fruit and to have classes be over and summer to begin.

Let's just say not much has changed.

I'm still way excited for this month. Sadly, every passing month means I am getting older and therefore "more mature" but this year it also means 6 MORE MONTHS UNTIL I TURN 21!!!! That means I get to take the concealed carry class and buy LOTS of pistols, as much as I have money for (which isn't much) and have slightly more freedom with that. No more walking along campus scared that I won't be able to defend myself.

But anyways, May is here. And with it, the start of an epic summer. I have a feeling this summer will be amazing. My best friend will go on a mission, hopefully I'll find a second job and I get to go to the lake! That's what I'm most excited for, going to the lake before Don goes on his mission. And I get to come home and visit for a couple weeks, starting Saturday!

I have been looking forward to this two week vacation home for quite some time. Hopefully, two weeks is enough time to visit with all of my friends. If not, well, some of them will have to come visit me! Becca, you still should come out to the U for school, whenever you come. And Rachael? Don't you dare buy a house before I do. That wouldn't be fair...

Speaking of Becca and Rachael, we are going to have to plan a few ROFL nights with sparkling cider and everything. And Ali and Rachael both need to come stay with me for a week this summer. See? I've got so much planned for this summer. It's going to be a blast!!! 

Whatever happens, I will have an amazing summer. Let's hope all of you do too. I wouldn't want anyone to get jealous, after all.

~Rose

Men and Dating Series 1 Episode 15

My Final Thoughts (For Now) -

I've come to realize lately that I might be slightly bitter when it comes to dating. I haven't really had any great experiences with it and haven't had the man of my dreams sweep me off my feet. But the one thing that never changes is that I pick myself up off the ground (greatly relying on other people) and I move on.

There are going to be failed relationships or even crushes that just don't turn into relationships. There are going to be bad days, bad weeks and bad people in general. It doesn't matter. There will be someone someday who will be the perfect match for you and will "complete" you.

That doesn't mean there's "The One". That just means there is always hope. There is always faith. I've seen lots of people who haven't gotten married until they were in their thirties or forties or older. But they are happy. They find the person they love and they are always grateful they waited.

When bad things happen, we need to let them go and move on. In some cases, we might need to completely eject someone from our lives. But then it's time to learn your lessons, forget the bad memories and move on.

Go out, have fun, be yourself. If you're in high school or haven't gone on a mission yet, DON'T STEADY DATE. It makes life so much more complicated than it needs to be. I regret having a boyfriend in high school, partially because I was betraying my own promises to myself by doing so. Don't date someone who's about to go on a mission. That can easily lead to heartbreak for both parties.

But most importantly, turn to the Lord. Listen to what He wants you to do and DO IT. He won't guide you wrong.

Go to the temple. Do baptisms for the dead. Have questions in mind and ask Heavenly Father for the answers to come. Ask for His help.

Remember to keep the Big Picture in mind. Let temporal things stay temporal and eternal things stay eternal.

And have a fantastic life.
Allons-y!

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 14

Engagements -

I have to admit, Marriage and Engagements are two topics I’ve been avoiding blogging about. I can’t say I’m an expert on engagements just because I was engaged once upon a time. However, I still have my opinion on the matter and that’s what you’re going to get.

I think two people should get engaged when they have spent the time to get to know each other and have become best friends. Maybe I’m weird, as my roommates and my family and my friends and strangers have all told me, but I want my husband to be my best friend. What fun is it going to be if we aren’t? Anyways, an engagement should be about two people who love each other and know that they don’t want to be with anyone else or date anyone else. Basically, they need to be ready to settle down with one person. (I am using the phrase “settle down” quite loosely. For some people, “settling down” with a person is more like “Just getting started with a wildly amazing life!” That’s going to be me.)

If you're already engaged, don’t be “en-gagged”. Show affection for each other, DUH, but I don’t think an engagement should be all about being touchy-feely. See, there I go referring back to a previous post. It still applies after you’re engaged. I just don’t think it’s really love if you have to constantly be touching and kissing and cuddling. Marriage can be exciting but the mindset shouldn't be "Oh my gosh, I can't stand not being with him. If we don't get married soon, we're going to get into some 'trouble'." That really is just asking for trouble. Calm down and remember it's for eternity. You'll have all the time in the world plus some to be married so enjoy your time before then. You'll never get it back.

That being said, there are some couples I think are absolutely perfect for each other because they show their affection in their actions rather than by being touchy-feely. Those are the couples that I look at and think “Come on man, just go ahead and propose! She’s perfect for you!” These couples are the ones I see going out and having adventures with each other. They aren’t afraid to tease the other person. They might cuddle a little bit, but it’s in a cute, almost shy sort of way. Mostly they just act like best friends.

I absolutely love the stories where a guy and girl know each other for years and are good friends. Then, when they’re both grown up, one of them looks at the other and realizes he or she never wants to part with their dear friend. It’s always such a cute story and because they were friends first, they know each other and trust each other. Sure, they have their disagreements but every friendship does. Those are the strongest relationships.

So, seriously, be friends first and “lovers” second.
And have adventures. Those are best.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 13

Heartbreak -

I’ve covered a lot of topics, but I don’t think I’ve covered heartbreak. There are several different ways heartbreak can occur.

First - Unrequited love. I really hate this one. It can sort of be avoided but at the same time, it is REALLY difficult to control your emotions. So many girls, myself included, find themselves stuck liking a guy who just doesn’t like them the same way. That is hard. It can really mess a person up.

Second - A breakup. It doesn’t matter why a person breaks up with their “significant other”, it can still be very hard for both of them. It is often most difficult for the person who didn’t initiate the break up. It’s really hard to move on and continue with life as though nothing happened because, let’s face it, something big has changed.

Third - Something out of your control occurs. I’m thinking something negative, like an accident. Something that could cause a relationship to end, a bit more complicated than just a breakup. It could be positive though, like one person moving to college and the other one staying behind, or a guy going on his mission. That can be really hard because you know that if that event hadn’t occurred, you might have been able to be with the person you like.

This is what I do to deal with “heartbreak”. I just deal with it. I laugh at myself and move on. If my emotions get to be too much for me to handle, I talk to my friends about it. They are amazing and always willing to listen, particularly since they have experienced similar things. I go to church and remember that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. My family reminds me that I’ve done the right thing and give me support.

This life is temporal. Anytime I get stressed over finals or boys, I remember that. I sit back and close my eyes, imagining what it will be like one, two years from now. The few times I felt absolutely devastated, I reminded myself that time could heal my wounds. I always, ALWAYS remember to look to the Lord to help me in times of need. I try my best to look to Him when I don’t “need” Him so badly as well.

Heartbreak is hard. So deal with it by getting the help of dear friends and the Lord. Ask your family for support. If you’re accustomed to spending time with a person who has left your life, fill that time with a hobby or with your friends and family. The best way to keep your mind off someone is to keep yourself busy.

And remember, there’s always someone who loves you and is there for you.

~Rose

Commercial Break!

This is not a post on dating. Surprise! This is a post on how grateful I am to have such wonderful roommates.

Now, I can't say much about Sarah. She's usually with her fiance, but when she is home, she laughs and has fun right with the rest of us. She's pretty much awesome.

But the Dexheimers are the ones I hang out with ALL. THE. TIME. Hahaha Those two sisters are so much fun.

Laurel is my age. She's rather skittish, I suppose you could say. She's easy to scare. I don't even have to try to make her jump! Take, for example, last night. She was on the phone and had something to say to Angela. She yelled at Angela to get into the living room, but gave up waiting and began to walk toward the bedroom. Well, Angela had started walking toward the living room. They both turned the corner at the same time and -smack!- ran into each other.

Now, I was sitting at the dining table just minding my own business. Both those girls screamed when they saw each other and I'm sure they must have jumped sky high. Angela ran into the living room, mumbling to me, trying to get me to understand what just happened and failing to speak comprehensible words. I understood what happened fine, but when I heard Laurel also mumbling on the phone trying to get the person there to understand her fright, I literally fell to the ground laughing too hard to function. It took them both at least a full minute to calm down enough to speak actual words. I think I laughed a bit longer than that.

Angela is the older sister. She's a LOT like Laurel in many ways. Angela LOVES books just like I do. Laurel loves books too, but she's a big movie fan. I read a book the other day called Entwined. It's about the Twelve Dancing Princesses from the eldest princess's point of view. It's a wonderful book! I marked it up quite thoroughly with my favorite quotes and thoughts that came to mind. There was even a poem that had a lot of symbolism in it that I took notes on. Angela read it after I did. She laughed at my notes. Since then we keep asking each other "Remember the time when the Keeper's ponytail was yanked?" or "What was that first Great Debacle called?" It's one of the ways we bond.

On Friday, I came home from shooting to discover Laurel sitting all alone in her bedroom, waiting for Angela to come home. But was she waiting idly? No, Angela had left her phone at home. So what did Laurel do? Why, she called Angela's phone and left her a couple dozen voice mails or so, of course. When I saw what she was doing, I left a voice mail of my own, just to join the fun. Laurel and I sat and giggled while Angela listened to all our messages.

Then, yesterday Angela and I walked to the gas station while Laurel was busy. I left my phone to charge. When she noticed we were gone, Laurel called Angela to see what we were doing. Angela just HAD to tell her that I left my phone. I rushed home, expecting to have at least five or six voice mails. Nope! I was lucky! Laurel's mom called her and saved me!

So, to wrap up all my fun tales, I'm going to miss my roommates when they leave. I'll have to continue to have adventures on my own and make the Dexheimers visit me in Salt Lake whenever possible.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 12

Dating and Adventures -

Once upon a time, shortly after graduating high school, a friend of mine, Nerrek, asked me on a date. He didn’t tell me what he was planning, just that we were doubling with his best friend, Adam, and my best friend, Micaela. Caela and I were pretty excited and spent a while getting ready. I had my sisters help me pick out a nice shirt and did my makeup (which doesn’t always happen). Then, I picked my favorite pair of heels to wear. I rarely get dressed up for a date.

When Nerrek came to pick me up, he told me we were going shooting. As it happens, I love guns. We went to pick up Caela. She was wearing heels as well. Adam and Nerrek laughed and only then informed us that we were going to have to hike across a couple fields to get to where we were going to shoot at prairie dogs. (By the way, where I grow up, prairie dogs are considered vermin, like mice, and shooting them was and is a common activity to keep the fields clear.) Caela and I weren’t in the most comfortable footwear for this activity. My solution was to slip off my shoes and walk barefoot across fields of dried corn stalks. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it was better than wearing heels. Caela just endured it. After we were done shooting (which was a blast, no pun intended. I shot a nice sized chunk out of a tiny little post way out in the field. Score!), we went and got pizza and watched a movie. I have to say this was one of my favorite dates.

Another fun date wasn’t even really a date. My mom wouldn’t let my sister go on a day date with her boyfriend before Prom her Junior year, so my best friend and I plotted and planned to give her a great day date without a date. It was just the three of us, and we went hiking. First, we went to Walmart and bought some strawberries and the stuff for Springville Sandwiches (if you don’t know what those are, too bad. :) ). We then went up to the cabin (Donovan’s grandparents’ cabin, technically) and had lunch and went hiking. It was so much fun! Donovan started “building a ferrari” and we played in some sand in a cove. After that, I helped Becca get ready for the dance.

Once Becca’s actual date was underway, Donovan and I headed back up to the cabin with Taylor and her boyfriend at the time. We just walked up to the cove and sat there talking while Donovan built his ferrari. This is one of my favorite memories of hanging out with friends.

I’ll share more stories later, but my point is that adventures are important, at least for me. I don’t want to get bored! If you have the right people with the right personalities, anything can be an adventure. One of my friends came to visit me last week and we went to the mall. We had fun going to the hobby store and the bookstore, but then we got lost in the parking garage. We spent probably a good 30 minutes trying to find Mike’s car. Do we consider that an adventure? Absolutely! It was fun! For me, I felt almost like I was playing detective, trying to remember every little detail that would help us locate the car.

So, go out, have some fun, have some adventures and enjoy yourself.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 11

Rejection or Pity Date -

Which is better? Rejecting a guy or just going on a pity date with him? (I’m aiming this towards girls but guys, just adjust this for yourself.) Once upon a time, I went on a pity date. It did not end all that well. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good. The guy thought that since I went with him on that date, it meant I liked him. He wouldn’t leave me alone! So I finally had to tell him straight out that I wasn’t interested. He was rejected and he was a pity date. Not the best way to handle things for me.

It’s ok to reject someone. You don’t have to “let them down easy”. Just tell them you aren’t interested, without beating around the bush. Now, if they are beating around the bush in asking, I think it’s kind of awkward to call them out. So I don’t usually. Is that the best thing for me to do? I don’t know, but I do it anyways.

No one wants to be a pity date. That’s just terrible. So don’t do it. Not even if you think they’ll never find out. It doesn’t matter. It’s not kind to them. It is kind to tell them when you aren’t interested so they can move on before they get too attached to you. Don’t ever even accidentally lead someone on if you can prevent it.

So if you don’t like a guy, don’t go out with him. Simple as that. Don’t say “Oh, I’ll give him a chance.” That’s just asking for disaster. He’ll just want another chance and another. “See, we had fun tonight. Let’s go again.” he’ll say. It will be a never-ending cycle. So just don’t do it. You can afford to be picky.

And let’s face it. At least for me, I have so much more fun not going on those dates than I ever do when I actually go. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been on a date for a long time. Just don’t go. This is YOUR eternity. Be picky about who you date.

ONLY DATE THOSE WHO YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF MARRYING. You have a list? So use it.

(Side note: It’s ok if you get rejected. It’s not the end of the world. It’s better to go through with that rejection now than later when you’re really attached, or not really attached as the case may be.)

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 10

Love -

“Love is not a noun. It is an action verb.”

Once, while arguing with a guy who said he loved me, I told him this phrase. “What does that even mean?” he asked. *Facepalm*

Love is not simply an emotion. Sure, that’s part of it. I mean, you have to like the person you are with forever. But that’s just a small part of it. You can’t simply like someone. They are going to get on your nerves and you’re going to have fights. That’s when “Love is an action verb” really takes on meaning.

 This is undoubtedly a complex subject. The things I have learned regarding Love might not work for others. I don’t consider myself an expert on this subject, not by a long shot! In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love with a man, not really in a “I could comfortably marry you” kind of way.

When I was 17, my bishop called me in for an annual interview. While we were talking, he brought up the rumor he’d heard that I had a boyfriend. I confirmed it. I will never forget what he told me then. He told me love is not something I would understand at that time. He told me love grows with every day. He told me he had never loved his wife more when he got engaged to her and each day he grew to love her even more.

Since then, I have watched for signs of what I could classify as “True Love”. Love is good. Love inspires only good things. This is the first lesson of Love that I have learned.

 Love makes you want to be better. It doesn’t make you want to be better temporarily just so you can “get the girl” (or guy). It inspires you to be a better person. It’s a permanent change that comes over you. Love doesn’t have to be romantic. My theory is that love actually isn’t romantic at all. Any married person can correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that love between husband and wife is fairly similar to love between friends, but on a much larger scale.

There are a couple friends I love very much. We are best friends. Because of this, whenever I am about to do something potentially hazardous to my spiritual health, whether it’s a big thing or a small thing, I think about them and realize that I want to be an example for them. I don’t want to let them down or disappoint them. I would imagine that is how it would be for a husband and wife or even boyfriend and girlfriend, two people in love. I have decided that one way I will know I love a man is that I will want to be better because I know him.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 9

"The One" -

Once upon a time, in a land far from here (but probably where most of you are now), I was a Young Woman. I'm still a young woman, but I'm not a Young Woman. Anyways, I remember one particular thing I learned in Young Women's one day. One of my leaders was talking about marriage and whatnot, a popular topic. She told us "There is not a soul mate waiting for you out there. There are many men who can be your husband. You just have to pray and follow the commandments and you will find a guy who can be your husband." At the time, I scoffed. I thought in my young little mind that of course there was only One Person that I was destined to be with! But oh, how I have learned since then!

I very much do not believe in "The One" stuff anymore. If you live your life worthy of God's blessings, He will help you find a spouse that matches you. That doesn't mean there's only one person for you. Take this story for an example. Say there was this woman. She grew up in the church and tried her best to do what is right. Then there was this man. He grew up in the church as well. He served a full mission and was doing what was right. But right after he came home he made one mistake. One little mistake, just enough that when these two met, she didn't want anything to do with him. They don't date and the girl marries someone else.

But if he hadn't made that one mistake, they would have gotten married! How could the girl he was destined to be with marry someone else! Well, my opinion is that there is more than one person who can be your spouse. He can repent or change or whatever is required to fix his mistake and he can marry another girl who could be his eternal companion just as well as the first could.

If someone makes one mistake, then repents, that can't mean they won't ever be happy with a spouse. There isn't "The One" for anyone. There are many people along the path. I could meet one person and be happy with him for eternity but I might choose not to be with him. So I might meet someone else.

It's more a matter of trusting in the Lord and letting Him do the hard work of finding someone for you. Don't be passive, but don't stress it. Go on dates with the kind of person you could marry and trust in God. That's the point of this, I think. If you trust in Him, no matter what happens, you will be fine. You might be heart-broken for a while but Heavenly Father will guide you.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 8

Qualities in a husband -

It is very important to know what qualities you want your future spouse to have. They need to be compatible qualities. For me, one of those would be he needs to be outgoing in order to keep up with me. What you want is up to you, but it’s a great idea to figure it out and stick to it!

Here is a good structure for qualities, things I would like in a guy. Take it and modify it to your own desires and remember to be the kind of person who can attract the person you describe.

One: Spirituality. This includes things such as Returned Missionary, holds the priesthood, active in church, etc. Most importantly, he needs to love the Saviour. I want to get married in the temple. I want an eternal marriage. That means my husband is going to have to put forth his fair share of work in the marriage to keep it an ETERNAL marriage.

Two: Physically fit. As afore mentioned, I am outgoing. I tried dating someone who couldn’t keep up with me. It was an epic fail! Now, I don’t require someone like a body builder, but I do need someone who isn’t going to fall behind when I’m going on adventures. Also, I want to live a long life WITH my husband. He’s not allowed to get sick and die young. He should be healthy without me harping on him to be so.

Three: Personality. I have a slightly unusual sense of humor. He’s going to have to be able to get that humor and laugh with me. He needs to be willing to accompany me on adventures I enjoy. He needs to push me to be better, whether that is a better person or better at the things I love. And of course, he should be able to introduce new things to me, things I will enjoy.

Four: Friendship. He needs to be my friend first. I’ve heard many people tell me they married their best friend. Those whose relationships haven’t worked out say they weren’t friends first. When I get married, I want my husband to be my best friend, someone I can share my life with. He needs to know the importance of family. He needs to get along with my family and my friends.

Five: Imperfect. Anyone who pretends to be perfect is far from it. I want him to know he isn’t perfect but to try to be better. I want someone I can laugh about my mistakes with because he knows he makes mistakes too. I love laughing with my friends about my imperfections. Those imperfections can help make the best relationships.

Six: Self defense. Self defense is important to me. I love being on the Marksmanship team at the U and am planning on buying a few guns this year. Also, I plan on starting Aikido again. If my husband wants to keep up with me, he’s going to need to at least be supportive of me. And I want a guy who can defend me. A guy who can’t even stand up for me is not a guy I can respect as my husband or even as a boyfriend.

Seven: Last but not least, I want a gentleman. He has to know how to treat me right. I’ve dated guys who at times it seemed their only flaw was that they didn’t treat me right. Guess what? It was a huge flaw. If he can’t respect me, I can’t stand to be around him. If he can’t treat me like a lady, I can’t treat him like an equal in the relationship. There won’t be a relationship.

So, I know what I want. The only thing left is to find him and not settle.

Do you know what you want?

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 7

Being Touchy Feely or Physicalness in dating -

Read the pamphlet “For the Strength of Youth” if you want to know what is appropriate here. I’m not going to tell you what is right or wrong. That pamphlet does a fine enough job of that. What I’m going to rant about is simple things like holding hands and cuddling. Things that aren’t bad in and of themselves but that have the potential to cause discomfort for some girls (such as myself).

On simple dates - If it’s just a date, where the two of you are friends and nothing more regardless of what either of you wants to be, DON’T hold hands. DON’T cuddle. To me, those are things for when you are steady dating. I know some people differ on that opinion, but it makes me uncomfortable to really have any physical contact beyond a hug at the end of the night.

Since not all girls enjoy touchy feely stuff (as that’s what I call any contact beyond a hug, like hand-holding or ESPECIALLY cuddling), guys are just going to have to get to know the girl first before they figure out if it’s ok or not. I hate touchy feely-ness. It’s annoying and uncomfortable. Have you gotten that idea yet?

Steady dating - This is where it is ok and probably expected to be cuddling and such. I’ll give some people that. I still hate touchy feely-ness even when dating someone. My last boyfriend was way too touchy feely. I hated it. There were some times when I literally told him to leave me alone and had to shove him away. I don’t think he understood just how much I hated it.

One thing I hate about it is how yucky it looks to others. Some people just look cute together. I remember before my sister-in-law and my brother got married, I just watched and waited to see them kiss. They were adorable! And one night, one of my brothers asked Emily to read him a story. He brought over The Lorax. Jonathan laid his head in her lap while she read it aloud. I think my little brother got bored and ran off before too long but Emily finished reading the story. That was the most cuddly those two ever got that I can remember and it was just darling. Then there are those couples that just cling to each other and everyone just looks away in embarrassment for them.

I think the difference between the two is this: Jonathan and Emily love each other. They don’t need to be constantly kissing or touching each other to let people know of their love. The nasty couples, as I usually call them, don’t really love each other. There might be love in their relationship but their relationship is built on physicalness and all that leads to, if given enough time, is trouble. These are the couples who absolutely cannot wait to get married because of the trouble they would get in if they had to wait. I’ll talk more about love later and touch up more on this particular topic but suffice it to say that a relationship needs to built on more than the touchy feely aspect.

So guys, get to know the girls before holding their hands and kissing them and whatnot. A hug is fine. I hug my friends all the time. Just get to know her. The other day, a friend of mine went on a date with a guy she wasn’t sure would let her have personal space or not. I’m told that he asked her permission before even putting his arm around her during a movie! Talk about bonus points! I can approve of a guy like that.

Girls, let your guy know if he gets too close. Don’t give him the wrong impression. If you don’t want him to hold your hand, don’t let him. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps he’s just used to girls who hold hands on the first date (or second or third as the case may be). I know several girls who think holding hands on the first date is fine regardless of whether or not you plan on steady dating the guy. That’s their opinion. Let the guy know if you disagree.

And please, PLEASE don’t be a nasty couple. Or I might puke. Seriously.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 6

Another Rant; Being in the Right Place -


Here’s another thing. How the heck do you expect to find a guy who is up to your standards if you only find guys in places a guy with your standards wouldn’t necessarily be. It’s not just a matter of being in the right place at the right time (since that’s a one in a million chance of getting right). It’s a matter of making sure you are actively in the places where a guy with your desired qualities would be. Think about it. If you want a guy who will take care of you and has a college degree and has goals in life with the determination to succeed, where will you find him? Certainly not at that late night party avoiding doing homework. No, he would be studying somewhere, striving to finish his goals. Would a temple-worthy guy avoid going to church? No, so why should you?

After my last failed relationship, I decided I needed to reevaluate what I was doing in my dating life. Apparently, everything wrong. I couldn’t remember the last time he and I had actually stayed for all of church. And did he ever go to the temple? Not once. Did I? Nope. Have I since I broke up with him. Still no. It’s one thing I’m working on making the time to go do. Do I go to church now and stay through it? Heck yes! Sometimes I go a little overboard and stay for my brother’s church when there’s food involved. I love my ward!

If I want a guy who has high standards and is goal-oriented, what kind of a person do I think he would want? That’s the kind of person I need to be. He’s not going to want a person who just lays around and doesn’t care about school. He’s not going to want a girl who doesn’t care about going to church. He’s certainly not going to want a girl who isn’t willing to put forth a little effort for him. There are a lot of things that I need to work on before I can find the right guy. One thing I have to admit I’m looking forward to is NOT finding a perfect guy. One thing I have come to realize is that my favorite thing about each of my best friends is their quirks, their imperfections, so to speak. To me, that is what makes them perfect. I look forward to finding a guy whose quirks match mine in a way that we get along well.

Guys and girls, take this to heart as well. Evaluate your dating life. Have you dated the kind of people you would like to marry? If so, good job. If not, figure out where you met them, why you started dating them if they weren't what you wanted and what you can change. Also, if you think you met the perfect person for you to marry (e.g. your family loved them, they matched your personality, they weren't boring, etc), then maybe figure out what went wrong and fix it so you can get that kind of person back.

In case anyone is wondering, I don't believe in "The One" crap. There are many people out there who could be your potential spouse. It just depends on what you want and what you do to get that person.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 5

A Rant On My Own Mistakes -


This is just a rant. Some days, I really don’t like dating or guys. Maybe it’s because I’m thinking too much on past experiences. I haven’t dated very many really good guys because I have this tendency to settle. And I date guys from all the wrong places! I mean, it’s rather obvious that a catholic kid who does not share my standards whom I met in the library at school won’t be the best influence on me, right? Well, apparently I just don’t think about things like that when it comes to guys.

And the guys I date don’t treat me right! The last guy I dated didn’t open the doors for me until I told him to. After that, he always did but he just didn’t think of it to begin with. None of the guys I’ve dated can keep up with me with rock climbing either so each time I've been in a relationship, I’ve given that up. That is completely unacceptable. When I start dating a new guy, I stop hanging out with my best friends. A guy should never take precedence over best friends! So what am I thinking?!?

Girls, guys shouldn’t make you stop doing the things you love. You should never have to give up something precious to you for them. In my case, the guy really can’t be a bum who sits around watching movies all day. That just drives me out of my mind! I have to go outside and do stuff! Hiking, climbing, playing at the park. I don’t care, I just NEED adventures!

A husband and wife should be best friends, in my opinion. That means that when a girl starts dating a guy, he shouldn’t take precedence over her best friends because he should already be one of them! And there needs to be a balance between a relationship, friends and family. A life cannot be lopsided. You have to balance your life so that you don’t neglect anyone important to you.

And your family is important. I really don’t think I can marry a guy whom my family does not like. If a girl or a guy goes against either person’s family to get married, I disagree with the marriage. That doesn’t mean if the parents just don’t like one of the two people that the marriage is wrong. People will have their disagreements. I’m saying that if a girl puts her boyfriend first, then she’s probably not in the right relationship. This kind of ties in with my thoughts on true love. If a guy truly loves a girl, she won’t have to give up her family to be with him.

So basically, I’ve dated some losers in my time. I’ve gone on dates with some freakin’ awesome people! However, most of my boyfriends in the past have just not quite been up to my standards.

I talked to my sister-in-law about it. I remember hearing that people didn’t think she would get married because she wouldn’t settle for less than (basically) perfect. Turns out, Jonathan was exactly who she wanted. She didn’t settle and she got what she wanted. I have to say they have always been the cutest couple. I want a relationship and marriage like theirs. Therefore, I suspect I’m going to be asking Emily for a lot of advice in the future. For now though, I think I will learn my lesson from past mistakes.

DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU WANT.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 4

The Boy Scout Law (Part 2) -

Previously on Men and Dating: Even if you were never in Boy Scouts, you can apply the Boy Scout Law in dating and even just friendships with girls. The Boy Scout Law is:

A scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent.

A scout is Obedient. Don't be her lapdog. That's annoying. However, if she tells you not to do something that bugs her, if it's not a big deal, then stop. There are some limits to this. If she tells you to stop doing something you enjoy, she's the wrong kind of girl for you. A girl shouldn't have to ask you stop doing something you love. Don't be her lapdog but don't be rude. This one goes hand-in-hand with being Kind.

A scout is Cheerful. Not many people like to be around people who aren't happy. I would personally prefer to be around someone who is happy all the time, maybe because I am usually a happy person. Besides that, it's so much more fun to be Cheerful and mischievous than to be boring and unhappy.

A scout is Thrifty. Some girls love it when guys spend lots of money on them, but I disagree with that, especially for casual dates or "just friends". For anything but special occasions, just go on fun, inexpensive dates. Go hiking or watch a movie. Read a book together. Also, be Thrifty in your everyday life. It says a lot about a guy when he can save money and live well with a budget.

A scout is Brave. Of course girls like guys who are Brave! Personally, I appreciate it when I take a guy to do something daring, like rock climbing and he'll do it even if he's scared of heights. My definition of Brave is  a person who will do something that is right even though they are afraid. Don't do stupid stuff but be Brave!

A scout is Reverent. This one rather deserves it's own blog post. It will come up eventually but for now I will summarize and hope it makes sense and is helpful. A guy needs to know when to calm down and listen. Sometimes, a girl just wants a guy to listen to her talk about her problems. (Ok, this is MOST of the time.) The most she wants to hear is "Oh, I'm sorry. That's awful." A good rule of thumb is to not be afraid to ask if she wants help with a problem. DON'T OFFER YOUR OPINION WITHOUT ASKING FOR PERMISSION! It's so much simpler to say "Would you rather I listened to you or do you want me to fix the problem?" than to offer unwanted advice and make her mad at you. In my experience, if a guy simply says he has advice if I want it, I get curious and ask him about it. Then I end up taking his advice. I'm much more open to the advice if it's offered in that way rather than just given.

So, here's my thoughts. Eagle Scouts are hot. I mean, if they actually ARE Eagle Scouts, not just in name. Which also means that if there's a guy who didn't officially get his Eagle but ACTS like an Eagle Scout, he's still hot. And for those who care, I'll bet my little sister will agree with me.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 3

The Boy Scout Law (Part 1) -

Ever since I was born, just about, my parents have been leaders in Scouts (I think they were finally released when I was about 14 or so). I learned a fair amount, although I've forgotten most of it. What I didn't forget was that my brothers learned a lot of useful skills I was jealous of. And too, that Boy Scouts teaches boys how to be men. Here are my thoughts on the Boy Scout Law and how it can EASILY be applied to dating.

A scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent.

A scout is Trustworthy. Never break your word. People in general are upset when you break your word and girls are no exception. They want someone they can trust, not someone they have to watch out for every second they are with them.

A scout is Loyal. Whether or not you are serious with a girl, when you go on dates with her, be loyal to her. Don't be flirting with a waitress or talking about other girls you think are cute. Listen to her and be there for her. This is the same whether you are just friends with a girl and hanging out or if you like her and are dating her.

A scout is helpful. Girls love it when guys offer to help them, even if they won't admit it. A lot of girls (ok, most of them) like to think they are independent, and might even be so, and like to do things themselves. However if a guy offers to help in such a way that he lets it be known that he's offering it as equals, then the girl can be free to not get offended. (Yeah, I know. Some girls will still be offended.) Don't give the girl the impression that you think she's incapable of doing something herself. This on is a tricky thing for guys these days what with all the feminism stuff going on, but at the very least DON'T BE UNHELPFUL. Always be willing to help when she asks you and let her know that she CAN ask you for help. With some girls, that's the most you can do.

A scout is Friendly. This one kind of goes without saying but I'll say it anyway. If you want a girl to like you or even be your friend, you have to be friendly. Teasing is fine, in a friendly way. That is one thing that my little sisters are always complaining to me about. (Well, sort of complaining. We'll just go with that word for it and hope they don't kill me.) Guys have a tendency to be mean to them about little things and they don't get mad about it, but they do get annoyed and they certainly don't end up crushing on the guys that do that.

A scout is Courteous. To me, this means you need to be a gentleman. Open doors for the girl. Complement her. If you're going on a date with her, she probably spent a good amount of time getting ready for it (even if this is just relative, like in my case) and if she didn't spend a lot of time (like in my case), she'll feel even better if you complement her. Walk between her and the street. Pull out her chair for her at dinner. Every chance you get, show her you know how to treat a girl right. (For me details, probably more than you would care to read, see Episode 2)

A scout is Kind. Be kind to her. Be especially kind to family. Be kind to people she knows bugs you or that you don't like. If ex-girlfriends come up in conversation (a touchy subject, to be sure), don't talk negatively about him. Be cautious though. If you go on and on about their virtues or things you miss about them, she'll get the wrong idea. But if you talk negatively about them, she might think "will I be the next ex he talks like this about to the next girl?" and, trust me, you don't want that thought to enter her mind. Just be kind to her. Compliments that just border on flattery, but don't quite go there as long as they are sincere, will get you everywhere.

I think that's quite enough for tonight. In part two, I will finish talking about the Boy Scout Law. Guys, just kind of use this as a guideline and I for one will be very grateful even if I'm only observing your dating attempts. Girls, LET THE GUYS BE GENTLEMAN!!! Let them show you respect.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 2

Being a Gentleman -

It has come to my attention recently that one of my friends has never been on a date where the guy has paid for her. Either they've paid for themselves or she's paid for both. WHAT?!? This is just not acceptable. Guys like that are NOT men. They are boys who don't know much about dating and treating a girl right, in my opinion.

First - Paying for the date. Seriously, guys. That is one that doesn't seem like such a big deal if you do it, but if you don't pay for her date, she will remember it and think of you negatively. My friend certainly didn't really appreciate going on dates where the guy expected her to pay. This one is a necessity if you want to be in her good graces.

Second - Open the doors for her. I had this one boyfriend who opened the doors for me when we first met and started dating. I thought it was so sweet of him and it was one reason I started dating him. After we'd been dating for about a month, he told me it was too much of a hassle to keep opening my doors. From then on, he only opened my doors on special occasions like my birthday or our one-year dating anniversary. When he told me he wouldn't open my doors for me anymore, I was so disappointed. However, then I met someone who wouldn't let me get out unless he opened the door for me. Even though we are just friends (but best friends, mind you), it has become a very enjoyable game between us to see if I remember to let him open the door for me. Just about the only door he lets me open is the door to my home because he "wants to respect the fact that it's my home and he's a guest". This one is another necessity for dates.

Third - Walk between her and the street. I have rarely had anyone do this for me. In fact, it's only my best friend who has ever done it for me. However, I really appreciated that. If a guy I was dating had done that for me, he most certainly would have won brownie points. (And with me, brownie points can be redeemed for food...) This one isn't a necessity, per se, but it definitely helps a guy stand out in a girl's mind.

Fourth - Hold out her chair for her. I don't think anyone has ever done this for me but it would be SO sweet of a guy to do it. It would be ridiculous in certain places, like Arby's, but at home or at a restaurant, I think it would be quite nice. Holding out her chair isn't a necessity but it is another thing that will help a guy stand out from other guys.

Fifth - Talk like a gentleman. Don't swear or talk about crude things. Be gracious. Compliment her. I had one boyfriend (the same one who refused to open doors after we'd been dating a while) who quit swearing around me when we started dating and kept his innuendos to himself. After we'd been dating for a few months though, he started swearing around me and making all sorts of crude jokes. It was embarrassing! I'd already been dating him for a while though so I didn't break up with him over that. This one is a necessity in my opinion. I will not date someone who swears or makes me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

I think that's it for today. Be a gentleman, guys! Girls always appreciate that and they tell their girlfriends and word gets around quickly. A girl is often willing to go on a date with a guy even if all she knows is that he has a reputation for being a gentleman.

~Rose

Men and Dating - Series 1 Episode 1

This is where I start posting my thoughts on dating and/or experiences I've had. Really just anything on the topic of men and dating. It's a broad topic.

So, today's topic will be on "Getting To Know Her". This is VERY important. It's all well and good for a guy to get a girl's number and ask her out on a date, but I hate it when a guy doesn't bother to find out what I enjoy doing. Here are some things I would like to see a guy do when asking me on a date. (And before you say anything, I already know I'm a very demanding person. This is MY eternity we're talking about here. I WILL be demanding.)

First, he should ask about my interests. A dinner date is good if he wants to get to know me before planning anything spectacular. A dinner date is the perfect opportunity to play what I call "the Question Game". It's a wonderful game that requires each party to think of a question to ask the other in turn. All questions must be answered truthfully. However, if the question is too nosy (like asking about exes on a first date) then the questionee can request that the questioner ask a different question.

Second, he should use the answers to the questions to plan things that I enjoy doing. That doesn't mean he needs to torture himself with a chick flick, but it does mean that he should take my interests into consideration when planning a date. If I say "I don't really enjoy watching a movie in theaters", he should try to plan a date that includes something he and I both enjoy.

Third, even if he's known me for a long time, he should still find out if I enjoy the same things I used to. People change with time and he should try to take that into consideration. I've definitely changed a lot in the last couple years and some of my preferences have changed. For example, if a guy wanted to get me flowers, he would think my favorite flower is a rose. Well, he would have been right up to a year ago. However, now my favorite flower is a lily. That's one thing that has changed.

Fourth, he should try to find some common, inside joke and use it as often as possible! If I laugh, I will remember him better and I will enjoy being around him more. If we've known each other for longer than ten minutes, there has to be at least one inside joke we share. If we've known each other for less than that, he can find something we both enjoy, TV shows being an excellent source, and use that to come up with inside jokes. In the case of a TV show, favorite one-liners are great for this. By having common inside jokes, a guy can learn a lot about a girl and her sense of humor and what she enjoys and that will help him decide if he still likes her.

I think I might have run out of things to say on this particular topic (for now. Mwahahaha). Stay tuned for more! ;)

~Rose

A New Goal

The last few months, I've been thinking about possible workouts. Anyone who knows me knows I really don't workout, I go rock climbing. However, it's difficult to go rock climbing here in Salt Lake. It was much easier to go climbing back in Vernal. Ah well, such is life.

Anyhow, so here's my thoughts. I want to get strong, relatively speaking. I've been trying for months to figure out a workout program that won't require much effort. (Yeah, it's an oxymoron. I know.) Finally, a solution occurred to me.

I have this amazing little brother named Braden. He's kind of a lot awesome. Well, one day when he was about, oh, seven? He came up to me and my sisters and said "I want to be like Wes." He was referring to Wes's muscles. Apparently, he had seen one of Wes's selfies taken in front of a mirror with his shirt off. My sisters and I kind of laughed and brushed it off, saying someday he probably would.

Then Braden announced his own little plan.

"I'm going to start doing push-ups every day." Well, alright. That's all well and good, but he was only seven so we assumed he would try it once and give up. Nope. A couple years later, here we are and I believe he still does push-ups every day. And his muscles are as close to being like Wes's as is healthy for a kid his age. He gets a royal kick out of walking up to me, grabbing me and carrying me wherever he wants me to be. Sure, I'm not heavy but he's just a kid!

So that little child is my inspiration. I am going to (attempt to) do push-ups everyday. I'll start out like he did, doing a little at a time then work up to larger numbers, occasionally throwing in some other exercises. Maybe this way, I can gain my climbing muscles back without having to pay for a freaking expensive pass to a (really nice) climbing facility.

Oh, and while I'm on the subject, can I say that Braden is just an absolutely amazing little brother? He won't ever let guys mess with his sisters, regardless of his size. He stands up for us and he makes us laugh. I can't wait to go home and see him again.

Prayers of a five year old

This is my first blog. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully, I can keep up with it. Thanks to Tay for starting her own blog and now I'm starting mine. I always have something on my mind and writing helps me calm down.


"Pray, He is there;
Speak, He is listening.
You are His child;
His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer;
He loves the children.
Of such is the kingdom, 
The kingdom of Heaven."


I remember an experience that happened to me as a little child. When I was about five years old, I had a red headband that I loved. It made me feel pretty when I wore it. I believe it sparkled. I wore it often and tried to take care of it. One day, I realized I didn't know where it was. I panicked. My mom and my brothers helped me look for it all over the house but none of us could find it. I remembered my mom teaching me something. She had told me that no matter the problem, I could prayer to Heavenly Father and He would answer me. 


I had heard stories of Him helping people find things that were lost and guiding their actions. I knelt down and prayed with all my heart that He would tell me where I had lost my headband. I stood up, confident that my headband would be found quickly. It wasn't. I searched for a long time after, praying still, but I could not find the headband. I wondered why I had not heard any whisper in my mind telling me where to look. 


Months later, I recall being in my room, moving my bed for some reason. Perhaps we were moving my bed to a different room or perhaps I was simply cleaning my room with my brothers' help. Either way, I remember one of my brothers getting my attention and showing me something that was under the bed. My red headband was there, unbroken. I was delighted and grateful. I remember clearly thinking "Heavenly Father DID answer my prayers, however long it seemed to take!" 


I have never forgotten that lesson. Always, Heavenly Father has answered my prayers, but in his own time. Sometimes, the answers confuse me but I trust Him and trust that as long as I do what I know is right, He will help me when I need Him most. He will never guide me wrong.


~ Rose